You meet a lot of people in the Lands Between. Most of ‘em are just trying to get by. Some of them are up to no good. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter–killing ‘em will get you runes, and that’s what’s most important.
But for some, feeling good about the people you murder is part of the Elden Ring experience. Sure, Godrick seems like a dick, but did he really deserve to die? Did Marika? Did Rykard? Did Melania? Maybe what some of these demigods needed was just a nice hug.
Related: The Divine Dragon is Sekiro's Easiest And Best Boss Fight
Some Elden Ring characters definitely need to be punched in the face, though. So, as asked by Reddit user Highsenberg19977, "Who would you think has the most punchable face/voice in the game?"
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Who would you think have the most punchable face/voice in the game? Mine is Seluvis from Eldenring
Highsenberg19977 perhaps provided the most obvious answer, which would be Preceptor Selivus. That’s the snide little mole who works for Ranni wearing the comically large hat. Every word Selivus says just drips with sarcasm and derision for the Tarnished, which frankly, has led to more than one player pulling their sword to make sure Selivus could never speak again. The benefit of a From Software game is that every NPC can die, and some of them definitely should.
Another good choice comes from Aprroximately46crabs, who said that the Dung Eater should quit eating dung and instead eat a knuckle sandwich. "Dungeater starts talking mad shit and it's like 'you talk a big game for someone in a fatsuit in pimples,'" they wrote. "And then you learn his lore and learn he's cosplaying an omen despite us all knowing he's not, and he's been salty about it since like the day of his birth."
Other names that came up a lot were Sir Gideon Ofnir, who is just as pretentious as Selivus if slightly more helpful, and Patches, the guy who constantly tries to steal from you, if not outright kill you when you first meet.
But a name that kept coming up over and over was White Mask Varre, the first person you meet in Elden Ring who doesn't immediately try to kill you. But then you find out that he murdered your Finger Maiden to render you maidenless in an attempt to direct you to join Mohg's cult, and that white mask seems like a pretty good place to rest your fist.
Another good question recently posed on the Elden Ring subreddit: how do you kill the demigods if there's no Rune of Death? I don't have the answer to that one, but there are certainly some interesting theories you can check out here.